There was a time when making a “Hawaii Issue” was a chore. It was a year after year, same-old-story bore. A sandy slog to the same (albeit beautiful) backdrop with the same contests and the same groundhog day rhythm. The North Shore was that classic tune you’ve played into the ground. A flip flop-filled trade show booth. Despite all the mythology, characters and chaos crammed into the 7-mile miracle during the winter months, making the same surf magazine issue about it every season grew tired. It felt like we’d pulled a Captain Cook and overstayed our welcome or something. We tried opening it up to other islands. Tried new angles. New gimmicks. Onshore = Offshore, etc. We even tried not going once — which is probably where FOMO originated and in retrospect was the worst idea ever. But after 15 years of lather rinse repeat we had to try something. And maybe it was that little break in the chain that made all the difference because we’ve come to realize there is really nothing better than ground zero, PLBDOTW, North Shore of Oahu, Hawaii. It’s still the greatest show and place on earth for a surfer.
This year something felt different. New energy and enthusiasm all along the bike path. Changing of the guard maybe? It could be as simple as the WSL moving the events to a more productive time of year for waves and weather (November and December are notoriously rainy and small, often with bad winds and brown water). This season had all the hallmarks we’ve come to dream about from the North Shore: sunshine, worlds’ best surfers in firing waves day in and day out. We also got to see good waves at the Pipe Pro (maybe the best ever according to Kelly Slater) and even Sunset was big enough to make for interesting contest viewing. And the locals went off: Seth Moniz with the Pipe finals appearance, Moana Jones Wong winning the women’s Pipeline event, and Barron Mamiya and Brisa Hennessy winning Sunset capped off a historic season and confirmed the Hawaiian renaissance we seem to all of a sudden be in the midst of.
It also didn’t hurt to have a new resident man on the ground in Hawaii this year. We had Brandon Guilmette, Huntington Beach native, former long-time Hurley team manager and tour traveler, waving the Inherent Bummer flag from the front lawn of his new Haleiwa apartment, giving us unprecedented access to surfers all season. He introduced us to all the fresh faces who make up the surfing landscape today and brought a layer of local knowledge to the table you only get when embedded longer than the usual two week haole stint. With all the access we have on social media these days it can be hard to feel like you're offering anything new, but as we compiled our notes and pics and vids, we realized we had a pretty interesting take on the North Shore this year — one that feels fresh — and worthy of its own issue of Fresh Hell.
After a few trial runs you might remember, we’re officially launching monthly “Fresh Hell” issues starting now. And look at that, we’re kicking it off with a “Hawaii Issue,” setting the tone for what Inherent Bummer hopes to give you moving forward: a more immersive, off-beat look at surfing and the culture we’re all creating together. We’ll scoop everything from the periphery and roll it all into one themed monthly output for your interpretation and enjoyment. We’ll combine the people, places, waves, sounds, flavors and literature that we’re living with and we’ll share it with you. Let's add some weirdness to the days and years ahead or forever shall Lono haunt us. —Travis Ferré
With Barron Mamiya, Noah Beschen and Makana Pang
Most of us grow up terrified at the thought of surfing the North Shore of Oahu. Every video clip we see from there features a super hero on a deadly wave, set after set. But if you're Barron Mamiya, Noah Beschen and Makana Pang its where you learn to surf. Like from day one. So you’re bound to have a whole different outlook on the place. They also let us in on a little secret: There are a lot of other waves besides the PLBTOTW ones.
We caught up with the local boys at Pupukea Grill following a few fun days of surfing this very fleeting, very heavy sandbar wave the locals have come to look forward to (on occasion) even more than Pipeline. Jam session to start, Pupukea Grill hang after. Hit play, brah.
““I remember being a kid and looking at pipe and thinking, ‘Yeah right!’””
““You see everyone’s posts on instagram thanking ‘Pipeline,’ like it’s a person.””
““I literally look forward to that [sandbar] wave more than I do a firing Pipe swell in the winter””
by Paul Brewer
Eating in Hawaii, as anyone knows who’s been here, is a blessed experience. Unbelievable fish, bright veggies, memorable Mai Tais. It’s the land of plenty and the garden of Eden, unlimited food at your fingertips.
But the more savvy among us will know that the numbers, the stats, disagree slightly with this reputation. Our land of plenty sees food that’s brought in via plane and boat, for the most part. Hawaii still imports something like 90 percent of the food we rave about. A garden of Eden, importing 90 percent of its food. What gives?
What gives are a bunch of things, ranging from socio-economic issues and general consumer tastes for burgers, to the current global economy based on instantly filling consumer requests. Truthfully, I’m too dumb to explain these big issue things, but smart enough to know not to try.
But one thing I do know is no matter how much I love and respect the Japanese and Portuguese and Chinese and (cough) American food influence here, and how they collide to make the Hawaiian food we all know and love, the thing I love the most are the ingredients, the stuff that just lives and grows here.
Because even though we import 90 percent of our food, we live on some islands overfilled with pigs and goats and deer and we are surrounded by an ocean full of fish.
There’s a local fish market, that thanks to the weirdly dry and calm winter this year, has been filled with fish that are only catchable when the conditions are just right. One of the special fish I’ve been buying is uku, a type of snapper. It’s another learning experience to learn how to butcher, to cook, to enjoy what’s on offer right around me.
Most recently it was a 9-pound fish, which the shop told me would yield about 5 lbs of fish. I did a Google search to remind myself how to break down a whole fish (again, learning here), then filleted a side to make sashimi blocks and eat raw. We had it with a little soy sauce and wasabi (thanks to that Japanese influence). The next night, with the other side of the fish, we fillet it, cut steaks, then tucked the steaks in banana leaves with coconut cream and red curry paste made from stuff growing on our farm. We were going for this recipe, but using just the things around us. Not exact, not perfect, but hyper local and damn delicious.
Rally, it’s fun to try to use what’s here. Because there is an abundance, if you look for it. Great farmers, passionate ranchers, skilled hunters, lifelong fishermen. That probably goes for most places in the world.
Age: 20 | San Clemente, CA
On the Proust Questionnaire
Crosby filming for Reckless Isolation in Indonesia. PHOTO: Nate Lawrence
It’s hard to get picked on when you’re bigger than all the older kids. Crosby Colapinto is the “grom” of the San Clemente squad that consists of Kolohe, Ian Crane, Luke Davis and his brother Griffin but that doesn’t quite add up when you think about how tall he is and how good and powerfully he surfs. His last two seasons in Hawaii have more than put him on the map in the powerful stuff — even taking out the Pipe portion of the Vans Triple Crown this year. He held his own in a wildcard appearance on the World Tour and his surfing more than keeps up with the big kids in Reckless Isolation.
We put him through the Proust questionnaire below and realized while his surfing is on another level, he’s really a throwback grom who loves surfing. Meet Crosby and prepare for him to take the next steps on the big stage over the next two years.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
I think just being in the ocean with my friends and family and being able to surf every day and be in the sun and just live life, how I'm living it and surf as my job.
What is your greatest fear?
My greatest fear. Yeah. Uh, This is my greatest fear: not making it. Well, I don't know, maybe ghost or something.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Probably like warming up to someone that I've just met. I always kinda have a hard time doing that. Does that make sense?
What is a trait that you most deplore in others?
When someone's really cocky or just into themselves or has a really big ego, that’s annoying.
PHOTO: Brandon Guilmette
What living person do you most admire?
I really admire Mick Fanning for his surfing and everything that he's gone through in his life. And just how he's a good human all around.
What is your greatest extravagance?
I'd say eating. Eating good food all the time. I mean, that's like the one thing I probably spend most of my money on, good food.
What's your current state of mind?
My current state of mind is being focused on surfing this year and putting all my effort into making the tour and doing whatever I can to get there. I really want to push myself — but also know the right time to have fun and go party or chill.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Well, I think being a surfer makes selfishness a virtue. Every surfer has to be selfish in their own way to get waves and put all their time in the surfing or that's pretty much for every athlete, you know? It's like being selfish to put more time into yourself than other people, but if you’re not, you’ll paddle out at Lowers and you just aren’t going to catch waves.
On what occasion do you lie?
I suck at lying. If I do try and lie, it never ends up going well. I can't keep a straight face.
What is your least favorite thing about your appearance?
I'm always sunburnt.
Which living person do you most despise?
Probably that Jake Paul guy. Yeah.
What's the quality that you most like in a man?
Probably if someone who’s a bit goofy, like, deep down kind of weird inside. Just funny, like not really normal.
What’s a quality you most like in a woman?
I like a pretty and nice girl.
What word or phrase do you most overuse?
“Blowouts” a big one. We use “blowout” a lot.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Oh, surfing. A hundred percent greatest love in my life is surfing.
When and where were you happy?
I'm always happy when I'm in Hawaii. The waves are firing every day, but also snowboarding on powder for the first time in Utah around New Year's time.
PHOTO: Nate Lawrence
Which talent would you most like to have?
Break dancing…or something I could break out at parties.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Maybe my ability to talk to chicks better. More smooth, not so weird.
What would you consider your greatest achievement?
Winning the Vans Triple Crown Pipeline portion…um, the digital Triple Crown. Not winning it, but winning the Pipe proportion.
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
Maybe a basketball player, an NBA star. Or maybe a dolphin.
Where would you most like to live?
Maybe somewhere in the Mentawais. Just pop out and score perfect waves with no out. You'd get pretty, pretty, pretty weird not seeing anyone though.
What's your most treasured possession?
My new set of golf clubs. Titleist.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Probably moving to middle America and not being able to see the ocean every day of your life.
What's your favorite occupation?
Probably a famous and funny actor or something.
What's your most marked characteristic?
I guess I'm goofy. I don't know. It's weird talking about myself.
What do you most value in your friends?
Just being there for me and always surfing together.
Who are your favorite writers?
I don't really read enough to have a favorite writer. My favorite book is The Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman.
Who's your hero of fiction?
Spiderman, he’s cool. Swings from house to house and always gets the girl.
What historical figure do you most identify with?
Historical figure? What? Like someone who went down in history? Who’s the god of the sea? Titan or Aquaman? Dude, I have no idea.
Who's your hero in real life?
Umm, my heroes in real life are Mick Fanning, my brother Griffin and my parents.
What are your favorite names?
Names? Like human names? I don't really have a favorite name.
What is it that you most dislike?
Losing a heat, having a super bad session, mean people.
What's your greatest regret?
I regret not surfing as much when I was younger. Like when I was 12 I feel like I didn’t surf much.
How would you like to die?
Dying in the ocean would be pretty cool.
What is your motto?
Business before pleasure or something? That’s my motto.
PHOTO: Nate Lawrence
Erik Knutson has one of the key elements that goes into being a great photographer: Access. He’s inside the elusive fortress that is John John Florence’s life. It’s Erik’s job to translate all that access into Parallel Sea, a very insider and very well-done IG page featuring John and friends doing what they do.
We reached out to Erik to snag 5 quick photos and a caption from his last few weeks in Hawaii (and a bonus trip to Canada).
“Smitty was staying right next to my house this winter. I remember walking by and seeing this tattoo minutes after he had gotten it. I got a film photo in my yard. I haven’t developed it yet haha. He was super amped and let me take another the next day with my digital.”
“Kelly was just telling Nate [Florence] and I how good this winter was — how he hadn’t seen a winter like this since ‘93, I think he said. This set rolled in and it was one of the best of the day. He paddled out and won the final not long after this.”
“Rory Wayne Bushfeild. An absolute classic. Drives a lifted truck with Danny Trejo surrounded by flames and machetes on the hood. I got to meet and camp out with a crew of Canadians this winter. It was nonstop laughs and stories of landing his plane on snow and beaches. Surfing and skiing all over British Columbia with his dog and girlfriend.”
“Passenger side speed blur on our way back to Whistler after my first back country sled experience. A belly full of beers and amazing Indian food.”
“Jon Pyzel and his wondrous creations. I’m sure all was in order, but he wanted to give them one more, potentially last hand shake before they got sent out in 10-foot plus Pipe.”
The beer aisle at Food Land gets especially busy right before dark. And there’s a reason for that: what sounds like “a nice thing to do after work to end the day” has a name in Hawaii and is put into practice every sunset and it’s called Pau Hana Time.
And sure, many places try to execute the Pau Hana Time themselves, but it’s in Hawaii, where sand texture, lighting, humidity, temperature, breeze, boardshorts, bikinis, flowers, slippers and ice cold cans of beer hula in a way that borders on the sublime. Here’s how to execute:
Make a mad dash to Food Land (or your fridge if you’re stocked) and pick up a pack of your favorite icy lagers. Best kept light and crispy. Be sure to grab your board — you’re going to need 3 waves before dark to earn a proper Pau Hana beer — and a little eski cooler to keep them icing while you pack in your mini session. A backpack with a small trash bag inside will suffice in a pinch, but make the investment on a cooler, have some pride man!
Now, get down to the beach and execute your three waves. You gotta get three — and they need to be at least 4s on your own judging scale. But make it quick, you need to give yourself a full 15 minutes before sunset to make this proper. After you get your scores, sprint to the car to get those icy brews. If you can see the sunset from there, stack that tailgate and enjoy. If you can’t, grab the bag and get down to the sand for full enjoyment.
The Hawaiian sunset will take it from there. And as simple as this sounds, when you execute it correctly, you’ll know. And it will be different than a sunset beer. It’ll be Pau Hana Time. —Brandon Guilmette
By Eleanor Sheehan
The ideas will come to you when they are ready. The form they take is insignificant. Language, it is often thought, should dazzle — you are supposed to be astounded by the form sentences take, the shapes they assemble. But the sophistication of words strung together is never as important as the meaning conveyed (with the notable exceptions of Nabokov and his unrequited heir apparent, Pynchon).
Everyone is a writer, very few have anything to say. And the writers who have something interesting to say, well, they’re usually heretics. You have to be deranged, ugly, the human embodiment of an -ism or an -ist to conceptualize something purely original. Being nice is a reliable strategy for going about your life. But literature that adheres to whatever is currently considered moral or, more accurately, trending in the zeitgeist? What could be more boring? If you’re reading for the delicacy of expression or to reaffirm your worldview, you’re not reading literature — you’re reading ad copy.
Readers of previous columns will recognize the apparent departure in my style and tone. It seems I know better than to force what isn’t already there. Instead, I ask that you consider these offerings an invitation to experience the sublime and always revelatory verboten fruits.
Ruthlessly pursuing your every whim, it turns out, leads not to happiness, but to despair.
Within your discomfort resides an undeniable and unavoidable primordial truth.
To understand taboos, immerse yourself in them.
If a Reprogramming is what you seek, look no further than this blueprint for living, liberated.
Impurity is the source of all compelling art and any expectation otherwise is the thief of beauty.
By Joel van Wyk
There were science experiments conducted in the 1930’s by comparative psychologist Dr Winthrop Niles Kellogg. He aimed to raise a baby chimpanzee alongside a human newborn in exactly the same way, in an attempt to see if the ape could start to adopt human behavior patterns over time. Do you want to know what happened every time?
The baby starts acting like a monkey.
I have no idea what this has to do with anything but it seems somehow relevant.
I’m feeling quite chalant [Editor’s note: “chalant” is not an actual English word, but if you apply the opposite of “nonchalant” here it works exactly as Joel intended it to so we let it stay. Poetic license or something. As you were.—ed.] about surfing this weekend to be honest.
Nostalgia is a disease, I know. Still, being the hypocrite that I am, the vast majority of music, movies, literature, pop culture I consume and enjoy is pre-90s. The good old days, before I was even born. The same goes for surfing.
Very chalant actually. I don’t want to say with certainty that surfing and it’s adjacent cultures were better whenever ‘back then’ was, but I can’t help thinking it sometimes.
Like now. I’m staring blankly at a seemingly endless screensaver telling me to ‘Stay Tuned. The MEO Pro Portugal pres. by Rip Curl will be right back!’ I know I’m not missing much though. I was very offended, however, when the WSL broadcast team cut to the same screensaver a few weeks ago, just as the local boy Barron Mamiya had conquered Sunset and was about to receive his regal ride up the beach, high up on the shoulders of the exuberant crowd and his peers. Imagine this happening just as a young Rafael Nadal clinches his first prestigious Wimbledon title and collapses, exhausted to the lawn court.
“Stay tuned, we’ll be right back!” Heinous. Egregious. Disrespectful.
Log champ Joel Tudor getting canceled by our surf overlords from a tour that doesn’t even exist.
Parko going from lifesaver to fun police.
Zuckerbot claiming his 15-ft feats to the world. Fuck right off!
French Champagne taste on a lite beer budget. I can’t be satisfied.
But then I got a message from my brother back home in Durban. The South African East Coast has recently been lit up by an off-season run of swell and I was expecting more picture and video evidence of the sweet, gorgeous carnage. Some sub-tropical punch between the piers.
But no. He had been going through some old box of forgotten belongings in a dark, dusty closet at mom and dad’s when he came across a relic of sorts. An antique of a bygone era. An old DVD copy of Kelly Slater and the Young Guns, 1 and 2. Remember those?
I was 13 years old when the original came out in 2004. I had a big, bright blue and orange Gunston 500 poster on my wall. The historic comp had in recent years been rebranded as the MR Price Pro because cigarettes couldn’t sponsor sporting events anymore. Bacardi was still a sponsor though and bikini clad girls would throw branded frisbee’s into the sweaty masses from the judges tower and winner’s stage. If you caught one (frisbee, not bikini girl) you could bring it to the tower and receive a free six pack of fruity new Bacardi Breezers, available in a variety of tropical flavors. I somehow managed to snag a frisbee in the melee and brokered a deal with one of the older local beach bums. He could share the pack of Bacardi Breezers with my buddy and I if he secured them for us. I got drunk for the first time off the overly sweet fizzy pop, there in the North Beach parking lot and felt pretty cool about it. I don’t remember surfing that day.
The DVDs came free with my subscription of Zigzag Magazine. It was the best thing I had ever laid eyes on at the time and I watched it religiously, at least once a day. I played the soundtrack in my head throughout sessions and imagined I could do the same things as a young Dane Reynolds. Of course I was only dreaming.
Present day: I immediately went online to see if I could find a copy and what do you know, you can find decent quality versions right on good old YouTube. I was quickly warped back to a gromhood, frothing out over Ry Craike’s reverses and Mar Ohno’s effortless style. The wizardry of young Jeremy Flores, Clay Marzo and Julian Wilson. Suddenly all the other noise was drowned out by an electrifying Wolfmother riff.
So do yourself a favour and unsubscribe from the bullshit, even if it’s only for an hour. Watch this before your next session or at least add it to your Spotify playlist and let the windows rattle on the way down to the beach and feel the sweet Bacardi Breeze after. Maybe nostalgia isn’t such a bad thing.
New Noise - Refused
Black City - Divisions of Laura Lee
A Ok - Motion City
Miss Take - Horrorpops
Women stay away - Ryan Toohey
Trying to Find a Balance - Atmosphere
Dirty Love - Divisions of Laura Lee
Good Times (Sick Pimpin’) - Atmosphere
White Unicorn - Wolfmother
Future - Turbo AC’s
Don’t Get Left - Sinistapushaman. Ft. Mad Skill
What I Want - D4
Let’s Go - The Presets
Use It - 28 Days
What’s Going On?- Sinistapushaman. Ft. Pep Love
Woman - Wolfmother
Girl and the Sea - The Presets
Music is a curious and wonderful thing. When we asked Marty Kawika Saito to curate a playlist for our “Hawaii Issue” of Fresh Hell, I wasn’t sure how it would hit in California or elsewhere around the world. Sometimes tunes sound best in the land they’re made and Hawaiian music is like that for me. I need full immersion of mind, body and spirit on the aina to fully appreciate a lead ukulele. Which is why I was so surprised when I was instantly downshifted into cruise control the second this playlist hit here at home. It’s a mood and I hope you’ll indulge and give it a spin no matter where you’re at. It goes great at that hour you slide your computer into its case for the night and stare at the dipping sun. Thanks to Marty for making this as legit as it gets and an instant go-to for making Pau Hana Time, any time. —Travis
““Straight lines go too quickly to appreciate the pleasures of the journey. They rush straight to their target and then die in the very moment of their triumph without having thought, loved, suffered or enjoyed themselves. Broken lines do not know what they want. With their caprices they cut time up, abuse routes, slash the joyous flowers and split the peaceful fruits with their corners. It is another story with curved lines. The song of the curved line is called happiness.””
Contributors:
Travis Ferre
Brandon Guilmette
Paul Brewer
Michael Cukr
Brandon Scott
Joel van Wyk
Marty Kawika Saito
