Surfing Healthcare
I wouldn’t say this is anything to be proud of, but I haven’t been to the doctor in probably 25 years. Call it stupidity or luck or just call it being a dude, I’ve managed to navigate the treacherous waters of existence without a prescription to anything for more than two decades.
Sure, I've been tossed around enough by life and the sea to require a few good sew ups and I require regular acupuncture and chiro work to keep myself from riding waves like the Tin Man. I drink far too much, my blood pressure and anxiety levels run at astronomically high levels and I could probably use a vitamin supplement or two, but overall, I like to think my truancy from the doctor’s office has something to do with my surfing life.
Let’s run through my health and wellness routine for doctor visit prevention:
Immune system stays sharp by surfing in and around river mouths immediately following any rain — gotta keep the immunity blades sharp. And sandbars!
Never be too busy or stressed out to surf — there are no products on Gweneth Paltrow’s GOOP website that work better than surfing for natural anxiety reduction.
Always stay fit enough to ride a shortboard. My dad taught me to never get so bored with your surf life that you resort to longboarding or mid-lengths for any extended period of time.
Live by the mantra coined by writer Jamie Brisick: You’re always better off having “surfed” — no matter how short the session.
Oh, and never put a Go-Pro in your mouth.
Follow these steps and you should notice an instant boost in your quality of life. And if you’re lucky you’ll outwit doc and his itch to prescribe for another year.
Next week I turn an unbelievable number of years and it being the start of the year coupled with my recent life upgrade as a new dad, I’ve decided to go see the doc…finally. Let him kick the shins a bit. Maybe see what percentage of red wine runs through my veins even though I know I’ll lie when he asks how much I drink it. I’ll be prepared for a good scolding and I'm sure I’ll be probed in more orifices than someone in a blink-182 song, but I’ll know I have surfing (and some genetic good luck) for keeping me out of that office for so long.
And should the appointment go awry and my strategy lets me down or comes with troublesome news, I’ll go ahead and rely upon the same health and wellness regimen I’ve been using since I paddled out for the first time: I’ll go surfing. That or I’ll return to church — another place I haven’t been in several decades — and start praying. —Travis Ferré
[Above artwork: Bodies, (1989) but Damien Hirst]
